The word “single” does not define me any more than being in a relationship does. For the first time since 2005, I am “single”. Three more months will make a year of being single for me. It has been quite the experience, but not as terrible as I imagined it would be. In less than a year, I have learned value things about life and myself. Maybe this will help somebody.
1. Being alone is not the worst thing. Spending time on yourself is not selfish, it’s good for your soul. It helps take away distractions and puts life in perspective. I like to call it “Mandi time”. People should see it as a privilege to get in on “Mandi time”, including myself. Choose who you spend your “you time” on carefully.
2. “Nobody will ever want me.” When the break up happened, this thought crossed my mind so many times. It took me a quite a while to realize that God does not leave us this way. He has a plan and that includes the person I am meant to spend forever with. This thought is a lie from the pit of… you know where. You are valuable and wanted. You are absolutely necessary in someone’s life. HE will be worth my valuable “Mandi time” too.
3. I know what I want! Honestly, all I have ever wanted was a man that loves me and that wants the same things as me in this life. For me, having a family is important. I may not be able to have that right now, but it is possible to have. So this is where I am at this point. Waiting is hard and I’ve been waiting for YEARS, but what else can I do…???? I have plenty to concentrate on at this time. I have Blaine and both of our schooling. It will happen when it’s supposed to happen.
4. Last bit of advice. This may not apply to anyone else, but I’m going to say it. Saving your heart is not a bad idea. I have loved relentlessly in the past, given my heart, and made my man top priority in my life. BUT with the pain that I have experienced, I am more protective of myself. I don’t see that as a bad thing. On the other hand, giving yourself to every Tom, Dick, and Harry is not what I think is best. Be careful who you open your heart to. When they say “it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all”…. I call BS (in some cases)!!